She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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