we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she smelled like a LAN party
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
