Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
