Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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