wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
