I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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