Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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