Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
