and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
