I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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