One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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