oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
