hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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