yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i already hear my dad disowning me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
