I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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