Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
