My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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