any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
