Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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