Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
