Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
