i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
