i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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