He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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