Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
