It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i think i have two assholes
Ketchup is God's man juice
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
