we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
