dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
