i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Help. Why am I so naked?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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