I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
