never play flip cup with pint glasses
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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