Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
