since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize