Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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