it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
