So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I will die if light touches me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
