i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
