3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
