FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
