It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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