She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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