I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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