i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
