He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
