after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
