this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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