i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We have started to decorate penises.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
