We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
