Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
