dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
