quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
