I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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