Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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